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Why Foster? Make a Dog Ready for a New Home

Mac, though, stayed for six weeks. His sloppy kisses and wagging tail became a part of my daily routine, and my own dog’s playtime, too. A month and a half is a long time to steel your heart against a dog who wants nothing more than for you to love him back — especially a dog who lives with you through Christmas and gets his very own presents under the tree.

On the day the rescue told me they had a great application for Mac, I, like Price, felt as though I was about to lose a child. I thought about saying no and officially becoming a “failed foster,” an all-too-common label for folks who tried but just could not say goodbye.

It’s happened more than once to Charlene Jackson of Coming Home Rescue in Rockaway, N.J. She’s had at least 300 foster dogs during the past 15 years, when she’s not busy at her job as an IT professional with Novartis. Her own pack helps with the fostering: Biscuit, a two-year-old Greyhound/Pit Bull mix; Emme, a five-year-old Australian Shepherd/Pit Bull mix; Sam-I-Am, a six-year-old Australian Cattle Dog; and Molly, an 18-year-old Golden Retriever.

“We call her Queen Molly. She came to me full of milk, so we think she was a thrown-out kennel bitch,” Jackson says. “To this day, she will investigate the puppies and sniff their ears to make sure they’re all right. I find that fostering is good for my own dogs. They learn to be sociable, and they learn to share. They open their hearts, too.” Dogs, like people, can become bonded to fosters — especially the ones who end up staying a while. “Time can make it hard, when they just become they’re happy, or it’s a special case and you start to feel like a protective mama bear,” Jackson says. “I’ve seen lots of fosters fail the first or second time. They often keep the first foster dog. Then with the second foster, they cry as they say goodbye. But then they get an email about how well that dog is doing, and they start to understand that this is a cycle. There’s another one waiting. You don’t have to cry for long. He’s in a crate waiting for you.”

For me, it makes things easier to think of that cycle as a pipeline, a pipeline that comes to a clogged stop if the foster person adopts the dog. Keeping that pipeline open is the only way that I could even conceive of saying goodbye to a dog as great as Mac. I kept telling myself that there was another dog just like him scheduled to die in a shelter tomorrow, and that I had to let Mac go, to make room.

The application arrived just before New Year’s. It was from a family about an hour away with a black Labrador who needed a playmate. The husband was willing to drive up to meet Mac even before the application was approved. He brought one of his three sons and their dog, Thomas, who played in my yard with Mac like old pals. The man apologized for his wife’s absence; if their application was chosen, he said, she’d quit her seasonal job early so she could be home to give Mac a proper first few weeks of settling in.

On the day Mac went home with them, I wept. My dog Blue wandered around the house in a daze, too. Mac, though, walked happily out my front door on his leash, his tail in a fullon wag. In my driveway, the family opened the door to their car and Mac jumped right in. He wanted to go for that ride. He didn’t even look back.

I’ve had 13 more foster puppies since then, each one just as deserving of happiness as Mac. Mine wasn’t the ideal home for every one of them — the poopers and chewers … well, I was happy to wish them good luck in life — but a few here and there have touched my heart deeply. For that reason, I’m glad I let Mac go. One of the greatest rewards of fostering is knowing that you’re not only helping one dog, but also the next one in line.

Another great reward is that they never forget you. A couple of weeks ago, I did a reading at a bookstore about a half-hour from my home. My dog Blue was with me, sitting quietly and politely as always. As the reading ended, Blue started tugging and tugging on his leash, trying desperately to get into the crowd. I looked up and saw a gorgeous adult Labrador with his tail wagging wildly, right there in the middle of the bookstore. Within five seconds, Blue was in a full-on play bow.

I looked at the man holding the Lab’s leash, confused about why another dog was inside. The man grinned and said, “You don’t remember him, do you.”

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Submitted by Erica | December 11 2012 |

Kim, you inspired me to foster with your book Little Boy Blue back in September! We've fostered three now, all now adopted to good homes. :)

Submitted by Casey | January 8 2013 |

Tears are flowing as I read your article, sent to my by a fellow rescuer. The timing could not be better as I have been in tears for two days as I said goodbye to my foster, Max. I had him for just a bit longer than you had Mac. He is also my 6th foster. It has been difficult saying goodbye to all of them, I thought none would be as hard as my 4th, Rocky, who I had for two months, I thought wrong. Max has proven to be just as hard. I told Max on his last day with me that if I hadn't gone through the heartbreak of Rocky I would not have been able to help save him and there is another out there like him that needs me. I know he didn't understand what was happening when he left and I wish he hadn't looked back, but he did and it killed me. Anyway, thank you for this article. The timing for me to see it could not have been more perfect. I will continue to foster no matter how hard it gets...I can't imagine being harder than this and I know it might happen again, I also know it is part of the process now.

Submitted by Bev | January 13 2013 |

This is a side of fostering that I guess I hadn't let myself think much about....I really admire those who firmly accept the reality that, as Price says, "if I kept the dog, then that would be the end of fostering." I wonder if I could do that. I of course fantasize having a huge ranch where I could make a forever home for all my rescues...yes, and an unlimited budget...I know it's not realistic, so I need to really be ready for this aspect of fostering: the letting go. Wow, I really am moved by the courage and strength of commitment fosters have! I hope someday i can develop that quality and share in that work. Till then, maybe my words can help these fine people be all the stronger!

Submitted by Polley Ann McClure | February 6 2013 |

I appreciate the recent articles about rescue groups and fostering. We defi nitely need all kinds of groups saving and fi nding homes for homeless animals. However, there is a one-sided perspective in these articles: that “animal-control shelters” are all places where animals are given short sentences and then “gassed.” I realize there still are too many shelters like this, but I believe that the shelter community is seriously changing. Many have already adopted “no kill” as a mission, and others see it as a goal they are working toward. I am president of the SPCA of Tompkins County, N.Y., one of the fi rst open-access, no-kill shelters in the country, now celebrating 10 years of no-kill operation. I know of any number of other shelters moving in this direction.

Submitted by Allison | February 23 2013 |

I love the officers at the animal controls we pull dogs for our rescue from. They never want to be the last place the dogs live -they are county employees and if they are open-admission, there are only so many kennels available. One we work with has 30 dogs a day brought in, at least. The officers there do their very best to help the animals get out to responsible rescues or be adopted. They run "CHARM School" -where people from the community come in to work on basic obedience with dogs in their care weekly. They have a public presence at events and foster strong relationships with rescues and local businesses. But with 30+ dogs coming in daily...they still have to euthanize for space. Finding places for the larger dogs continues to be incredibly challenging. If you have ideas that work and will help them decrease their euthanasia rates, please email me so I can get you in touch with them!

Submitted by Sonya | May 23 2013 |

Know how hard it is to give them up. We foster kittens and cats and have turned one of our bedrooms into their special room. We have had one foster failure and have another adult foster living in the house with ours. Some are so hard to give up and when you see signs of abuse, it just tears you up thinking what these dear animals have been thru. Thank you for what you do and writing this article, it is so rewarding when you hear from the adoptive owners and hear how happy they are in their new homes.

Submitted by Sarah | August 6 2014 |

I am currently fostering a dog that I rescued from a kill shelter. I adopted her knowing I couldn't keep her and I've been trying to hard to find her a new home. When I first brought her home she was timid, shaking, refused to go to the bathroom outside and hated waling on a leash. Now she is happy, so undoubtedly trusting of me, goes on three walks a day, and goes outside regularly. We still have to watch her for when she gets that "prance" to know when to take her out, but she has very few accidents in the house. I haven't had any luck getting her adopted though and very few people are willing to help me find her a home... How did you find your fosters homes so quickly? Any advice? It will HURT when I need to let her go, but it will be the right thing to do. I just need to know how to do it.

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